
I’ve just realised that my resilient Halloween beehive added to some windswept make-up and a minor sniffle means that I’m inadvertently in costume as Amy Winehouse.
I went to the Cheesecake Factory today.
Turns out they sell alot more than just cheesecake there.
bwah hah ha.
Mr. Wilson indicated that Ms. Manners’s name was only one of several things that he could tease her about.
“In a certain funny way, there are various idiosyncratic things about her,” he said. “Her nose is very squishy, her name, and she says things strangely because her mother is English.”
I enjoy that the Sunday Times weddings section gives me such a sense of smug superiority.
If I’m ever featured in the goddam New York Times with the description “her nose is very squishy” I want someone to take me out stat.
Everything is a grift and everyone is a potential grifter
—
Chuck Klosterman on New York in Killing Yourself to Live.
Look, I’m not trying to be that guy that quotes Chuck Klosterman. I hadn’t even heard of him before this week when I started reading this book, OK?
But this statement is very, very true.
Fuck you Pizza Hut. Why is it that I can order almost anything under the Sun to be delivered to my apartment EXCEPT cheesy crust pizza?
— don’t judge me
…America needs stricter gun controls.
People can’t even keep their experimental aircraft out of child’s reach, let alone their fire arms.
![[image]](http://2.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kr1z4o56EO1qzt676o1_400.jpg)
Next in The Illogical World According to Alice
This movie could be the funniest film of all time and it would still bomb at the box office. Here’s why:
1. Groups of single ladies and men aren’t going to go see this because it’s about couples and their problems. Not interested
2. Couples aren’t going to see this because it will hit too close to home and no one wants their relationship challenged over popcorn and Twizzlers.
3. Horrible first date movie. Horrible.
I’m sad for this movie because it has such a great cast and the makings of hilarity.
This is one of those artistically swept up incidents where someone (Universal Marketing Douche) needed to step up and say “OK, but who’s actually going to want to buy tickets to this movie?”
![[image]](http://13.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kr1yeeQ7Ql1qzt676o1_500.jpg)
I’m starting a new series in my rage blog entitled
The Illogical World According to Alice
First Entry:
Netflix Direct Mail Promotion
OK, so I received this free trial offer in the mail. The idea is that, as a Netflix member, I would hand these out to my peeps and they’ll be so overjoyed with the bountiful movies and TV shows available to them, they’ll bear all my children.
The catch is that you can’t give them to anyone in a household that already has Netflix or anyone who has been a Netflix member in the past. In NYC, that whittles the target audience down to…about zero. In my world anyway.
Surely, (in New York specifically, I doubt what I’ve said is true in other markets) they are better off trying to increase the frequency of current users than expanding what must be close to a saturated market. For the unfamiliar (and probably disinterested by this point in the rant) you pay on Netflix depending on how many DVDs you have out at one time.
I roll with 1 movie and 1 TV show disc out at a time and I have been selling this idea to people all over town.
Netflix, get on it.