Next in The Illogical World According to Alice

This movie could be the funniest film of all time and it would still bomb at the box office. Here’s why:

1. Groups of single ladies and men aren’t going to go see this because it’s about couples and their problems. Not interested

2. Couples aren’t going to see this because it will hit too close to home and no one wants their relationship challenged over popcorn and Twizzlers.

3. Horrible first date movie. Horrible.

I’m sad for this movie because it has such a great cast and the makings of hilarity. 

This is one of those artistically swept up incidents where someone (Universal Marketing Douche) needed to step up and say “OK, but who’s actually going to want to buy tickets to this movie?”

I’m starting a new series in my rage blog entitled

The Illogical World According to Alice

First Entry:

Netflix Direct Mail Promotion

OK, so I received this free trial offer in the mail. The idea is that, as a Netflix member, I would hand these out to my peeps and they’ll be so overjoyed with the bountiful movies and TV shows available to them, they’ll bear all my children.

The catch is that you can’t give them to anyone in a household that already has Netflix or anyone who has been a Netflix member in the past. In NYC, that whittles the target audience down to…about zero. In my world anyway.

Surely, (in New York specifically, I doubt what I’ve said is true in other markets) they are better off trying to increase the frequency of current users than expanding what must be close to a saturated market. For the unfamiliar (and probably disinterested by this point in the rant) you pay on Netflix depending on how many DVDs you have out at one time.

I roll with 1 movie and 1 TV show disc out at a time and I have been selling this idea to people all over town.

Netflix, get on it.