The Illogical World According To Alice ↘↖

why oh why oh why oh why…

do they spend millions of dollars making movies and then approximately $15 hiring the worst graphic artists on the planet to make the movie posters?

10 May 2010 • The Illogical World According To Alice

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Let’s start with this - I love the Olympics.

Also, this ad tugged on the rusty heartstrings of my cynical heart.

BUT, then the last 5 seconds brought  me crashing down to Earth.

Again with the “you pay all that money, you should get your advertising right” theme, the last 5 seconds features a series of (too quick to count) brand names appearing for about half a second and then ends on the P&G logo.

But here’s the thing, based on a straw poll (my roommates) people don’t know who P&G are. They know what Pampers are, what Tide is, but you can’t buy a P&G at Walmart.

So, after watching this expensive, adorable ad in prime Olympic placement, no one on my house knew what it was for. Advertising Fail.

(BTDubs P&G, just put all the logos on the screen for the full last 5 seconds. Should do the trick)

14 February 2010 • The Illogical World According To Alice

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Am I missing a trick here?

You spend $2.8million putting an ad in the Superbowl.

Don’t you think for a hot minute about the fact that most people are watching the Superbowl in a bar or at a house party?

And that, save for some advertising dorks, most people don’t sit silently through the commercials but make bets about picks and downs and who’s going to get engaged to Kim Kardashian.

So, in the future Superbowl advertisers, think about airing ads that don’t rely solely on audio to sell your product.

Otherwise you’ve spent $2.8mills showing me a blank staring man for 60 seconds *cough* Dodge *cough*

8 February 2010 • The Illogical World According To Alice

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Next in The Illogical World According to Alice

This movie could be the funniest film of all time and it would still bomb at the box office. Here’s why:

1. Groups of single ladies and men aren’t going to go see this because it’s about couples and their problems. Not interested

2. Couples aren’t going to see this because it will hit too close to home and no one wants their relationship challenged over popcorn and Twizzlers.

3. Horrible first date movie. Horrible.

I’m sad for this movie because it has such a great cast and the makings of hilarity. 

This is one of those artistically swept up incidents where someone (Universal Marketing Douche) needed to step up and say “OK, but who’s actually going to want to buy tickets to this movie?”

6 October 2009 • The Illogical World According to Alice

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I’m starting a new series in my rage blog entitled

The Illogical World According to Alice

First Entry:

Netflix Direct Mail Promotion

OK, so I received this free trial offer in the mail. The idea is that, as a Netflix member, I would hand these out to my peeps and they’ll be so overjoyed with the bountiful movies and TV shows available to them, they’ll bear all my children.

The catch is that you can’t give them to anyone in a household that already has Netflix or anyone who has been a Netflix member in the past. In NYC, that whittles the target audience down to…about zero. In my world anyway.

Surely, (in New York specifically, I doubt what I’ve said is true in other markets) they are better off trying to increase the frequency of current users than expanding what must be close to a saturated market. For the unfamiliar (and probably disinterested by this point in the rant) you pay on Netflix depending on how many DVDs you have out at one time.

I roll with 1 movie and 1 TV show disc out at a time and I have been selling this idea to people all over town.

Netflix, get on it.

5 October 2009 • The Illogical World According To Alice

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